


Some shitty little moments of Team Fortress 2

by BlackWatersofNight



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: F/M, Im literally a walking cringe infestation, M/M, Random short stories, Well this is my first little booklet of random moments, dont question me, maybe some smut?, random medic union shit, random shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-25 15:58:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16663831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackWatersofNight/pseuds/BlackWatersofNight
Summary: I'm so sorry I exist. Anyways, this is some random moments that I write about the tf2 characters there will not be too much smut? I don't feel very comfortable writing anything really dirty or graphic sex but I'll read it, also I will make light references to sex but not too much.





	1. Chapter 1

Mk... Before we get started lemme explain the medic union quick. 

The medic union is made up of all the Medics in team fortress two, they all are trained to carry certain weapons and have uniforms which represent their team's colors. The blacc medic (the leader) got half of his face scarred by the white team demoman, even respawn couldn't repair most of the damages so he united to medic's where they try to destroy all the other teams so medics will be more famous. The pink medic (one of the blacc medic's sidekicks) is more about getting people to appreciate medic's, as his team rarely does. The medic's all have their own weapons and such. Anyways, enjoy, I guess?

Violet Medic- Known as the spider, he is a valuable member to the Medic Union, being able to steal info, however, like the spy, he can disappear but it takes longer to get his ability to work. His main weapon is a scythe and carries around extras in case something breaks his own scythe (a total of 8 scythes). He is very cocky and clever and hates the spy. He has an old watch that he stole from the spy that is around 6 years old so that’s why it takes so long to get it to work and it will shut off at random times, not helping him any better. Also, the way he saps sentries are just kicking them over and running away like a little school girl.

Orange Medic- He mostly deals with fire and explosives. He is also a valuable member of the Medic Union. He will set off random fires and his main weapon is an explosive he calls “Explosive X” which has a rather wide range and lowers the players health down to half. He will set off fireworks every day with their pyro and is really ExPlOsIvE usually being ticked off easily. 

Blue Medic- He uses mine like objects that release a blue gas that can freeze the player for around half a minute. He is valuable to the Medic Union. He has a combo with the Yellow medic where the Yellow Medic can use his long ass claws to cut the opponent in half and make red slush. He is very cold and wears a classic medic mask so he wont be affected, he alerts the other medics in the area when he's setting off one of his mines so they can put on their color chosen masks and continue fighting. His side weapon is an ice pick but rarely uses it when the Yellow medic is around to help.

Yellow Medic- He takes a pill that enhances his sharp teeth and causes long, sharp claws to arise out of his yellow gloves. He is considered the most insane out of the group. He is a lesser valuable medic but Blacc medic only keeps him around for the fact he is a good partner for Blue’s weapon.

Blacc Pyro- This lil' Pyro was accepted into the team by Whyte medic and all the others, Blacc wanted to reject the idea but Whyte medic convinced him to keep the small Pyro around who has built his way up into the 3rd highest rank of the medic union, above Whyte medic even due to the Pink medic pulling a few strings.

Red Medic- Known commonly as “The Scout Catcher” he has a whip with a bonesaw attached at the end that he throws at running scouts or anybody else to cut their legs off and then chop off their heads. Unlike Blue Medic, he isn’t very civil, usually never giving warnings and being straight up cutthroat.

 

Green Medic- He once dealt with poison but got eliminated by Blacc for failing the Medic Union when Green saved a scout from the Red Medic’s grasp. But White was considerate and patched him up and now he hides from Blacc medic in fear. 

Pink medic- Is very nonviolent but will resort to it if Blacc is doing something he shouldn’t. He will close his right eye and the first eye will become black and his mouth will have even more jagged teeth and he’ll insult you in a nice way like “Great going, FREAK”. He announces things more than he fights in the Medic Union but Blacc is scared to kick him out, who knew it, a harmless medic could strike fear into the strongest medic out there.

Whyte medic- He remains a healer for the medic union, rarely resulting in violence. His weapon is simply a slightly bent sword that the white team Engineer made to replace the broken bonesaw which barely even cut through the Blacc team Heavy. He is easily frightened and hates that the Blacc Medic gives more attention to the Pink medic, but he doesn't really complain. (Also yeah, his team name is Whyte)

Blacc medic- Yes, his team's name really is "Blacc"... He is the strongest medic, but he isn't as intelligent as the Pink or Blue medic. He prefers to be alone, watching over all the others as they fool around. He calls most of them childish as he wants the Medic Union to be professional and taken seriously. His weapons are two large guns that shoot blinding white bullets, if a supercharged bullet hits someone, it corrupts the merc slowly, taking advantage of their body giving full control to the blacc medic so he can use them to kill someone before the corrupted merc dies and respawns. these supercharged bullets take about 8 minutes to build up.

Now that I've explained the medic union, we can head straight in


	2. Oof take mom medic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My headcanon is that red medic treats pyro like his child so um... Aha have some motherly medic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im so sorry I exist

The battle was raging on, Blu's were losing, as they almost do every round.  
The red medic was running around, trying to heal the too intense soldier and the annoying scout that couldn't keep still for 1 second.  
"Mmfph!" The red Pyro ran up, hugging the Red Medic's legs.  
"Vhat do you vant, liebling?" the Red medic asked, looking down at the smaller thing.  
"Mphfph mphfh!" The red pyro mumbled the medic's eyes flared up, his blue sky eyes turning to a dull gray color.  
"Zhe Blu scout did vhat?..." The red medic hissed lowly, pulling out a bloodied bone saw.  
Sure, the red medic had teammates to heal, but he wasn't about to let some little greasy nobody hurt his pyro.

The blu scout was running around, aiming for the bigger teammates, such as the heavy, the Demoman, and of course, the soldier.  
The medic waited for a while, stalking and lurking like a spy targeting a sentry or sniper.

Finally, after waiting for some time and ignoring the cries and pleas of his teammates, he got the blu scout alone.  
"What right do you have to hurt my Pyro?..." Hissed the livid medic, his sharp teeth bared at the confused Scout.  
"Oh? Wha- Come on, man! It was just a joke! Okay?!" The blu scout protested out against the red medic's accusation.  
The small male tried to make a run for it, before medic grabbed a hold of his shirt, holding him up so his feet wouldn't touch the ground. Most people assumed Medic was weak, just a nurse who took the wrong job, but he was cunning, intelligent, a god. Oh how Medic loved the sound of the word god...  
"Look, I'm sorry alright!" The Bostonian yelped, squirming in the tight grip.

"Shut your annoying fucking mouth," The man in the red gloves snapped, tossing the boy against the concrete walls, allowing the small boy to start trying to crawl away before he placed his black boot onto his back, applying harsh pressure to his bones.  
The blu scout yelped, he heard a quick snap, causing the young boy to scream.  
"Don't play fucking stupid with me, schweinhund." His words were like frostbite, cold as Alaska.  
"I-I'm sorry!!!" The blu scout cried, his tears streaming down his skin.  
The red medic crouched, taking his bloodied bonesaw and laid it right on the left shoulder of the scout, Medic could sense his fear.  
The blu scout was hiccuping, trying to hold back sobs, the blu scout heard stories of the red medic, he was the medic you didn't want healing you.  
The bonesaw slowly cut through the soft flesh of the boy, causing small whimpers.  
"Ein, Zwei..." The medic slowly began to whisper through a relaxed jaw, counting down the Scout's use of his left arm.  
The scout was shivering, he didn't want this to happen.  
"...Drei," he slowly hissed, the bonesaw forced itself through Scout's left arm, the scream echoed through the small shed that only contained ammunition and pills, something the Scout wouldn't be able to reach now.  
He tossed the discarded left arm to the side, it still twitching and spilling blood, the scout on the other hand, bleeding so much more. The medic took the bloody bonesaw and turned it to the other arm.  
"Are you ready?.." He softly asked in that fake ass nice tone of his that he would use into getting his Russian bear to kill anyone who even touched him.  
"-P-please... St-op..." the scout cried, his soft blue eyes misty with tears.  
"Not until I feel like it," the medic purred, the bonesaw lightly resting on the right shoulder of the scout.  
Without warning, the bonesaw drove directly through the scout's right arm.  
The blu scout hoarsely screamed.  
The slightly taller male decided to pull out his syringe gun, still filled with the needles that meant certain death.  
He pointed it to the scout's head, he felt pleased with himself now, knowing that he got revenge for his pyro.  
The scout was overwhelmed and on the verge of passing out.  
Medic slowly pulled the trigger, the first needle slowly digging its sharp point into scout's scalp.  
Finally, the needles flew through Scout's head, blood spraying everywhere.  
He lifted his boot off the limp body of the Blu, slowly walking away to go heal the whiny mercs who couldn't just run away and find some medical supplies laying around.  
Respawn took the blu's body, taking him back into the battle.

The medic returned back to the ferocious battle, giving medicine to his teammates as they continuously screamed his name.  
The blu scout avoided the red medic, usually bailing out whenever the medic was waiting for the blu's with the heavy.

After the red's had won most of the matches, Medic gave Pyro a lot of affection that night, giving him lollipops and allowing him to run around the medical office as he dealt with his other patients.

 

 

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this one was rushed! I have a lot of missing work due and I dont have a lot of motivation to do anything! I promise the next one will be better!


	3. Oh no

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> f u c c m y life

I was working on a chapter that was around 5000 words long and then I accidentally deleted the wrong tab and now its gone holy shit someone save me but I'll try to rewrite everything as best as I can sorry for this uh delay I guess um see ya


	4. Some random fucking filler chapter while I die a little inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fuck I need to recover the lost chapter 
> 
> Take this child, its too dangerous to go alone into all the other shit I write.
> 
>  This is about the medic unionnnnnnnnnnnnn 
> 
> (Also the lost chapter was Soldier and Engie fluff so uh aha)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not illegal if you're satan kids.

The violet medic was holding up the yellow medic who was trying to spy in on the red team, the blacc medic wanted this job done perfectly with nobody witnessing them spying on the teams. Violet medic reluctantly agreed to work with yellow who was probably the worst spy ever, constantly talking and annoying the living hell out of Violet.  
"Sto-stop moving vould ya?!" Violet growled to the other medic that stood on his shoulders.  
"I-I think I see their intelligence?" Yellow medic questioned, looking through the telescope that faced a window.  
"Fucking hell... Do you see it or not?!" The violet medic snapped, threatening to drop the Yellow medic.  
"Well, uh, I zhink ve're gonna have to go in to see for ourselves, cause zhis telescope is having troubles focusing," Yellow murmured.  
"Zah boss only vanted us to spy, not steal anyzhing okay?!" The slightly taller male lowly growled, backing up a bit.  
"Ve have to, just to be sure zhat it's zhe intelligence," The one with the yellow uniform mumbled.  
"Alright, dummkopf, if ve have to," Violet sighed, dropping the yellow medic without a care.  
"SHIT! VHAT VAS ZHAT FOR?!" Yellow hissed, standing back up and dusting off the newly clean uniform.  
"For being a fucking idiot, anyvays, how are you going to become invisible, you're bright fucking yellow, lala" Violet snickered at his joke, pointing towards the conspicuous outfit.  
"Vell, I can be back up?" Yellow shrugged, his bloodshot eyes focusing on the Violet counterpart.  
"Alright, zhe code word for if Im caught is going to be Cinnamon, how bout it?" Violet asked, pointing his finger towards yellow and slouching.  
"Sounds good to me," Yellow grinned, showing off his crocodile-like teeth that almost every single medic seemed to replicate.

Violet tapped his old spy watch, but it wouldn't work, he kept pressing it over and over mumbling some venomous curses before it actually worked.  
He snuck in, trying to avoid the red mercs and anybody else who may be wandering around, he noticed the red medic who was chatting with the engineer, he was about to say hello to the fellow Medic union member before realizing it could blow his cover.  
He fleed upstairs, checking every corner and trying to avoid narrow hallways.  
The violet medic finally found a way up to the room they had been looking at, he threw papers around and scavenged around, grabbing anything that might be useful later in the future, then he heard the knob twist to the room.  
"Fuck, fuck, fuck..." He whispered, panicking and trying to find a place to hide, he chose under the table, constantly looking at the watch to see how much time was left before it ran out.  
"GAH! WHO MADE A DIDDLY DARN MESS IN THIS ROOM!" It was the red engineer who came into the room, upset about the poor organization of all the papers, objects, and open cabinets.  
Then next came the Spy and red medic who were all looking at the disheveled room.  
Violet kept thinking of how he was gonna get out, well he did have the Yellow medic to come and assist him, but he should wait till they find him then call up the lunatic.  
The three kept trying to come up with reasons of who could've done it and why it was like this.  
Spy had said it was the scout, Engineer said it was the Pyro but of course, the medic argued with the engineer that Pyro was a perfect angel that wouldn't have done this, but the Red medic had just said it could've been Demoman when he got shit-faced drunk after the battle.  
The violet medic's breathing got a bit faster, trying to cover it up by putting a hand over his mouth.  
But of course, the old watch gave out, revealing the violet medic.  
The spy was the first to notice as the other two mercs were arguing about what happened.  
"Well, what do we have here?" The spy questioned, his cigarette smoke floating in the air making a shape that looked like a black serpent ready to attack.  
Violet medic felt afraid, what would they do to him? Would they let him go? Or would they kill him in a painful way?  
The spy dragged the violet medic out by his purple coat despite his protests.  
"A docteur?" Spy hissed. "A spy perhaps?!" The man in the red mask blew smoke into the violet medic's face causing a bit of coughing to come from the scared medic.  
"Oh! Uh. Violet!!! Why didn't you say you were visiting man?!" the red medic awkwardly smiled and went to hug the Violet medic to try and trick the other two mercs who looked at each other and looked back at the violet medic who was shaking and grinning.  
"Y-yeah! Red medic, I uh, I thought I forgot something special he-here last time I saw you so I-um I panicked!" Violet tried to cover up the fact he had tried to find out where the intelligence was and it was working, sort of.

The yellow medic was getting quite worried and had tried to see what was in the room once or twice but he was too short and only saw the flooring of the room.  
He knew he had to check on his partner but how exactly? He could climb up the wall but he didn't have... Wait, he dug in his pockets and sure enough, there were the special pills that could make him a monster with too long and sharp of fangs and claws. He popped one in his mouth, swallowing it and waiting for the effect to kick in.  
The pain was unbearable as his body was forced to enhance his teeth and fingers. After a minute, the transformation was complete and he struck his hand against the wall, allowing him to grip on as he climbed.  
He was breathing heavily as he climbed his way up, finally, he made it.  
The first things he saw were violet medic and red medic talking while two mercs were standing by watching the ordeal.  
He was about to back up before the violet medic noticed him, he could see the fear and panic in his glistening blue eyes.

"Uh, anyways!" Violet began, "I should get going, my team needs me!" He awkwardly smiled waving goodbye to the red medic and stepping by the engineer and spy and running down the hallways.  
The yellow medic leaped from the window and waited patiently for the other medic, sweating and wondering what would've happened if Red medic hadn't saved Violet.  
Violet came running over to Yellow, sweating intensely and breathing hard.  
"Holy shit... Al-also, there was no uh- intelligence up there, j-just a red cas-case..." Violet huffed, resting against the wall.  
"Alr-Alright then, let's get going and tell Blacc what we found, yeah?" Yellow smiled awkwardly to his soldier who was crossing his arms and resting one leg against the wall.  
"Yeah, I think that's enough for today," Violet smiled, standing up and beginning to run.  
"Wait up, man!" Yellow yelled, rushing after Violet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god that turned out a little fluffy at the end with Violet medic and Yellow medic although I dont ship the two... Yeah, anyways, I made this quick so I could get back to making something... Also, sometimes I may call Violet "Purple medic" from time to time because I used to call him Purple medic before I called him Violet so it sounds prettier I guess? See ya later, guys! Tell me if you wanna see anything specific and I'll answer it maybe!


	5. Random highschool Au?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Im bored af m8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NAMESSSSSSSSSS
> 
> Medic- Fynn Sauer (Sauer apparently means Grim? SO AHA IM SMART *False advertising of intelligence)  
> Engie- Dell Conagher  
> Heavy- Misha Ivanov  
> Sniper- Robin Miller  
> Spy- Xavier Paris (Im so unoriginal aha oh wait...)  
> Pyro- ??? Nobody knowsssssss  
> Classic Heavy- Josh Connors (College student that Medic may or may not be dating AHA THATS RIGHT GET IT BECAUSE OF THE COMICS YEAH IDFK WHAT IM GONNA DO WITH HIM)  
> Scout- Jeremy Smith (fuck my life)  
> Soldier- Jayne doe  
> Demoman- Tavish Degroot  
> Miss Pauling- Christina Pauling
> 
> (Also I might explain Second Opinion as Medic having DID and constantly arguing with Sec op which he calls "Fritz" and Sec op is rather aggressive towards the other students unlike he is? Idfk so yeah)

It was the perfect time of day, by that, I mean that the sun was just starting to rise and the crows were freaking the fuck out, in Colorado.  
The future mercs were just waking up and getting dressed, well, except for Jeremy, who was trying to outsmart his alarm clock and go to sleep and skip school that day, but his mother wouldn't allow it and yelled at him till he got up.

"But ma!," Jeremy protested, turning over in his small bed,  
"I am not having it today, Jeremy, ya get up or you're grounded!" Scout's mother yelled in a firm tone towards her lazy son.  
"Alright, alright," He groaned, rolling out of bed and onto the floor, slowly rising from the comfortable floor.  
Jeremy wasn't particularly excited for this day, he didn't really want to see all the people at school, but there was one teacher, he really liked, her name was Christina Pauling, one of the most beautiful and intelligent people there, well, Jeremy thought so anyway.  
"Also, I can't drive ya today so you're going to ride the bus, I got work to do," his mom chattered from the kitchen, snapping Jeremy out of his mesmerizing dreamworld.  
He groaned, his mother barely had time for him because of her fancy new dates.

He ran to catch up with the bus, all the kids already boarding it, probably snickering at the running Bostonian who was wasting all his energy for this stupid banana bus.  
Before it took off, he got on, sitting next to an Australian transfer who was spooked easily and never really talked to anyone, usually biding his time by staring at anything that wasn't a person. The two kids in the back, one who had a gauze pad over his eye due to some freak accident and one who was way too into American history, were screaming their asses off, the bus driver not doing shit about it.  
The two kids in front of his seat were a Russian and a German, both relatively quiet, well, except for the slightly heavier one who joked around with the silent German kid who only made morbid comments and engaged in medical discussions only, Jeremy had found the German quite weird because of the fact he always wore gloves and avoided talking to any teachers and whenever the teacher would ask about how his weekend was he'd just stay silent, but Jeremy didn't care about anyone, only Christina Pauling, oh he couldn't wait to see her, in that pretty purple dress she wore.  
And then there was some other french kid who would pop out of nowhere and knew private information about you somehow, but then there was the kid who wore a hoodie all the time, legend has it that whoever sees his face dies within 24 hours, but that was nothing but a rumor, even creepier than the glove wearing kid.

But there was also Dell, a pretty smart kid, always acing his tests, but he looked more like a middle schooler because of his height, he was friends with almost everyone to be honest, nobody knows how and why he is so charming but his Texan accent is very thick, making it sometimes hard to tell what hes saying...

The bus arrived at the school, the tall building looming over the kids like an almighty god.  
They all walked to their first period, and that was with the teacher ms Pauling.  
They were the only kids who were in her class first period, while every other teacher had more students than her, but she was appreciative for have at least some decent students. < /> "Attention, class!" Ms Pauling cleared her throat, looking at the slowly falling asleep students.  
"Uh, so everyone is here today, yeah?" She asked, looking around the room.  
All the students nodded, some making small comments and others not.

"Alright, so, let's wait till lunch shall we?" She smiled, Jeremy winked at her, making her roll her brown eyes.  
The students were chattering and chattering, Ms Pauling yelling whenever it got too noisy for her taste.  
Tavish and Jane were conversating, sniggering and looking at the other kids like middle school girls gossiping.  
Dell was chatting with the mute kid who only mumbled words through a bandana, somehow Dell understood the kid.  
The chubby kid and skinny german lightly joked with each other like they always did, although sometimes the german would flinch whenever Misha pat his back and he would seemingly talk in a darker and deeper voice that made crude comments about other students.  
"I hope you all die," Fynn scowled, but quickly whispered a light "Please don't," right after, but it was quickly followed by an insane joke, "And when the patient woke up, he realized his skeleton was missing!!!" Sending Fynn into hysterical laughter that caused a sudden silence. Fynn didn't like talking a lot or laughing because everyone would stare at his sharp vampire like fangs, earning him the nickname "Vampire of Colorado".  
He quickly shut himself up when Ms Pauling shushed him."  
The Aussie was leaning back in his seat before a hushed voice said "Bushman," causing him to be startled and fall backward in his chair, the class erupted in laughter apart from Robin and Fynn who was reading his medical textbook on the human body.  
"What do you bloody want, ya spook?!" He hissed, getting back up in his seat.  
"I wanted to make sure you were alive," The french kid sarcastically grinned, turning around in his seat.

(Let's skip to lunch because its 2 am and I lost half of my progress on this chapter because of Archive crashing :,))

Lunch was rather uneventful, kids were just talking their asses off like normal, the occasional dick joke was made, but nothing too hilarious, Fynn had left to go do something and Tavish had a doctors appointment because of his left eye that nobody dared to look at.  
Jane was quiet but talked to Dell his second talking choice other than Tavish.  
Misha was curious about where his friend went, but didn't think too much of it, Fynn was one to disappear at random times during the day, Tavish once told everyone that he caught Fynn making out with a college student that was apparently a gang leader or something, but Tavish wasn't very trustworthy, always coming into school high or drunk sometimes.

(FUCK MY LIFEEEEEEEEEEEE LETS SCOOT ON OVER TO GYM BECAUSE I AM SO TIRED RN AND ARCHIVE KEEPS DARING TO CRASH ON ME)

During gym, they were going to play dodgeball, a game that Jane was sure he was going to demolish everyone at.  
"Alright, ladies," Their gym teacher hissed, "The team captains are, Jane doe and Jeremy Smith..." She said, the two hyped team captains stepping forward  
They started yelling names grabbing certain teammates, the mute kid was gone, apparently went to the bathroom to do something.  
Jane having the stronger kids and Jeremy having the weaker kids, which bummed him out a bit.  
Once the game started everyone was at war, Jane's team putting in their fighting strength, not caring who they hit, Jeremy's team was a bit fearful, the kids allowing themselves to get hit or running fearfully away, Jeremy and Robin being the only ones trying to hit the opposing team.  
Fynn was arguing with himself, frustrated.  
"MOVE ZHIS VAY, DUMMKOPF" He yelled, his voice darker and deeper than his usual voice, "Nein! I don't vant to get demolished!" he would yell back to himself, getting some weird looks.  
Fynn would occasionally aggressively throw a ball at a student, yelling a few curses in German to avoid getting yelled at by a teacher.

Jane was absolutely demolishing Dell, throwing two balls at a time at the shorter student.  
Two kids ended up in the Nurse's office after that, Xavier and Dell.

FUCKKKK IM GONNA UPDATE THIS TOMORROW SO UH JUST READ THIS FOR NOW ALRIGHT?! Also yes I added Classic Heavy and Second Opinion just because why the hell not m8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There might be a pt 2 if ya wantttt


End file.
